Brad Erwin

BRAD ERWIN
John Bradford Erwin was born May 23, 1954 in Murray, Utah to John Edward Erwin and Margaret Johnson Erwin, who always gave him more love, caring and support than he deserved. He married Jane Robison in July of 1983 after a long-distance, opposites-attract romance. He is survived by his wife, a brother, Jeff (Eve) Erwin of Idaho Falls, Idaho, a sister, Jane (Chris) Talkington of whythehelldoyou livethere Sprague, Washington, 4 children from a previous marriage, Tabitha Keysaw, Tracy Erwin, Michelle (David) Kalinowski, Nick (Heather) Erwin, 14 grandchildren, 2 great-grandsons, 3 confused dogs, and many friends, neighbors, coworkers, and bartenders.
Brad learned what he wanted to learn, fixed what he wanted to fix, and loved who he wanted to love.
Brad leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that he was very proud of. His kids are still trying to figure out if he liked them or not, but they know he loved them.
Brad always met his friends with a grin and a good joke. He loved big fireworks, roaming the back roads of Island Park, “Are we lost? Yes, but making good time”, and also the deserts of Southern Utah and New Mexico, “just sitting in the rocks”. He always loved to stop at dive bars and shoot the breeze with locals, he made friends wherever he went. He loved good food, good scotch, mostly Mick’s, and good company, and was always up for beer and burgers in the backyard with neighbors, friends and family. He always wanted to go to work, because that’s where some of his best friends were.
He had a life-long love affair with: Grandma Erwin’s potato salad, Snickers candy bars, tomatoes from his garden, green chiles on everything, the Food Channel, red beer in Island Park, Lay’s potato chips, vanilla ice cream, and rare filet mignon. He traded the same bottle of Glenlivet, as a gift with Hugh, his father-in law, for many years until it became evident from the tattered package that they were both too cheap to buy a new bottle.

He excelled at creative disorganization, stockpiling complete sockets sets never used, but a good deal at Lowes, being late for everything, hunting gophers in his front yard, , living within his means, poop patrol, reciting Bud the Bear from memory, excessive sleeping, never losing a game of cribbage, reading any trashy mystery book he could get his hands on, cooking burgers on the grill exactly the way you like them, choreographing fireworks shows, and he invented an innovative way of taking the garbage out by doing it in increments, moving it a few feet at a time, until someone else took it out for him. He was famous for late night telephone calls to people he missed, whether they missed him or not.

His fashion sense was uncomplicated: a plain white T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, baggy cargo shorts from Costco, and any pair of sneakers that were dry enough to be worn and didn’t have dog poop on them. He always had the right T shirt for the occasion and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).
He was never one for religion, but Barry and Roger, he wanted you to know that if he owes you a beer, and if you can find him in Heaven, he will gladly allow you to buy him another.
With, Brad it always was best if things were his idea, so Jane learned to treat it like her garden. Plant a little seed, leave it alone, watch it grow, and suddenly it bloomed and became his idea.

Brad died knowing that Young Frankenstein was the best movie ever (You take the blonde, I’ll take the one with the turban), Rod Stewart still has best hair, George of the Jungle is the baddest man on the planet, and that small dogs were chick magnets at Costco.
Brad had few regrets but they include: not realizing years ago that Jeff would fix his sprinklers for free out of guilt, drinking a jalapeno chili beer from Lakeside Lodge in the summer of 2006, and teaching his faithful dog Harley to always refuse a 2nd beer so as to make it safely home from the neighbors, but not training him to detect early cancer.
He left behind a hell of a lot of stuff for Jane who has no idea what to do with it. There are hundreds of tools that we aren’t sure what they’re used for, so if you are in need, please wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch. Tomorrow would be fine.
There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Glenfiddich in his hand so that he would appear natural to visitors.
Cremation will take place at the family’s convenience, and his ashes will be kept around as long as they match Jane’s décor and then scattered on Jack and Dianne’s driveway in Island Park if they promise not to hose it off immediately.
Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Brad’s life in their own way. Raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate. If that doesn’t work for you, donations to AlcoholicDogs.com or EvilStepMothers.org are suggested.
Brad leaves you with this…please don’t cry because I’m gone; instead, be happy that I was here. (Or Elaine and Janie, maybe you can cry a little bit, so Jane won’t have to go fix her makeup alone.) Chris, public places do not allow you to go into the ladies room with them..
We will always be grateful for the love and care of our family, friends, neighbors and others who gave so generously of their time, labor, support, good cheer, and laughter for Brad. Also, for Doctors Havard, Sethi, and Garner, who took such good care of him.
Brad, Johnnie saved some junk for you, Margaret has fresh raspberries, Hugh wants to go over “Who’s on first”, Hughie has a new joke for you, Leon and Michael have the firepit going, and Harley finally found his red ball and wants you to throw it.